Former gay porn star Matthew Rush is in jail. His charge is
possession/use of drug paraphernalia and possession of methamphetamine.
Considering that acting as a bitter, bitchy queen is IN and compassion is OUT,
many of us saw the news on social media, some ridiculing his appearance, along
with his life.
Does it matter that up to
last year Matthew Rush used his fame to raise money for HIV research? Does it
matter that he has joined a very long list of people working in the adult
industry who ended up in jail, with a drug problem, or worse, dead? Does it
matter that in private, many people still masturbate over them, unaware of
their fate?
It should. Perhaps, it doesn’t anymore. Facebook and
Twitter are generically turning all of us into a hoard of barbaric and
judgemental arseholes, with no sense of decency, morality or respect for the
human condition.
I looked at the customary before/ after shot, buff and sexy
on one side, lost and skinny on the other, (two photos obviously stuck together
to add the appropriate amount of drama) and I wondered what it took to lead
Matthew Rush to the devastation of this present moment. One can only speculate.
All I know, from personal experience, is that
self-destruction develops over a long period. It goes undetected for years as
it chips away at the edges of your soul, while you get on with your life. Don’t
be fooled by the photo taken when he looked gigantic. Possibly, he was already
battling with his own version of hell, the way many of us homosexuals struggle
daily with issues regarding personal appearance, self-worth and acceptance of
who we are. We are all underdogs grasping for air. Matthew Rush is exactly like
us, vulnerable like us, which should make his fall from grace a personal tragedy we
all share.
I stared at the red, bloodshot
gaze I know so well and felt great sadness. Matthew’s eyes reminded me of one
of my closest friends, someone who lived less than a mile away from me and who had
been battling crystal meth addiction on and off for sometimes. In the process, my friend
lost his job, his health and his dignity. He also literally disappeared before
my eyes, physically and mentally, every day a little more. Eventually, I realized that I didn't have the strength or the heart to be there for him, to give him the support he needed without expecting anything back. Therefore, I stopped looking out for him. The shame is all on me.
As Gay Star News website (GSN) has stated on numerous
occasions in their special features of September 2017, the gay community has a
problem with drugs/chemsex, which is spiralling out of control and possibly
into 'epidemic' territory. Like GSN, I too feel this is something that could
define our generation and we need to cease pretending otherwise. Above all, we
should stop trivialising the issue. In fact, we must come together as a community
and truly start looking after one another, and actually care, because if we
won’t, no one else will.
Imagine my anger when I came across the post/screen-shot I
am publishing at the top of this piece while flicking through social media in
the morning. Two factors contributed to my dismay: one, the complete lack of
empathy for a fellow gay man going through a publicly documented fall from
grace. The second factor: the editor of an internationally renowned gay
magazine ridiculing another human being's torment. This person woke up in the
morning and decided to come up with a ‘caption competition’ to make a mockery
of a personal tragedy. This editor didn’t write something in the heat of
the moment. No, he thought about it and then he carefully listed seven (7)
possible captions.
Well, let me add an extra one, straight at him: “SHAME ON YOU”
Not for the post in itself, which one can dismiss as a
perfect combination of wrong timing and poor judgement, but for what this
person did after he published it. He left it hanging there on his wall for two painful
hours before deleting it without saying a word, once he realised how
inappropriate it was and when he saw the negative comments piling up.
The editor of a gay magazine has a moral responsibility
towards the gay community in general and his audience in particular. Therefore,
if he screws up he should take responsibility for his words. He doesn’t click DELETE in order to brush his words under the social media carpet,
pretending that they never saw the light of day. He should be held accountable for
his actions, take ownership and make amends. Someone who earns a living out of
working in the gay community doesn’t get to disparage its members, especially
when their only fault is to be troubled human beings.
On a personal note, I am disappointed. Even though we are
not friends, I’ve known this person for twenty years. I’ve even contributed to
his magazine in the past. In the light of this piece, I doubt it will happen
again. The publishing world is a very unforgiving environment and I don’t care. There is more to life than exposure. My choice is to stand up and speak out.
After all, I have no desire to write for someone whose moral
compass seems to be pointing directly towards the antithesis of goodness.
Mario Forgione
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